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Bill Gates - Heaven or HellJokes: Technology

Microsoft founder Bill Gates died and found himself being sized up by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go".

St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision".

"Okay then", said Bill, "Let's try Hell first".

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature was perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is Hell, I really want to see Heaven!"

"Fine", said St. Peter, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.

"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell", he told St. Peter.

"Fine", retorted St. Peter, "as you desire".

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.

Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???"

"That was the demo", replied St. Peter.

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Light BulbJokes: Technology

How many technical support staff does it take to replace a light bulb?

Only one, but you will be put on hold for thirty minutes.

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Right ClickJokes: Technology

Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.

Customer: Ok.

Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?

Customer: No.

Tech Support: Ok. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu now?

Customer: Not at all.

Tech Support: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?

Customer: Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote down 'click' but nothing is happening.

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